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A note on Valentine’s Day
A long-awaited post that I have been neglecting, on things associated with that *special* day, as well as gift ideas, food suggestions & what women really want.
**WARNING this is not written from the stand-point of a typical girl. Guys if you are with a normal girl I would suggest that a Hallmark card confessing your love to her, a giant heart-shaped box of chocolates, roses (research what the colors mean first before you purchase a dozen) and an over-sized stuffed animal/jewelry/that one thing that she mentioned 2 years ago that she wanted & hoped that you would remember, but you forgot 3 seconds after she said it…should do the trick to get you what all guys are really hoping for on Valentine’s Day (no explanation needed).
For most women, Valentine’s Day is about this:
I am not one of those women.
1. Flowers are nice, but they die
If you really want flowers to be meaningful for me, get them on a random day out of the year just because. Just because you know that tiger lilies are my favorite, and just because you saw them at the store on your way home. Just because you thought that they would brighten up my bad day or just because you know me that well.
Note for guys: if you are doing something flower-related on Valentine’s day for your woman, send them to her place of employment. She will be overjoyed at how all of her co-workers sulk in their own self-pity after seeing how much she means to you. If either she is un-employed or you are, make it extra special and deliver them yourself to somewhere you know she will be (added bonus is the more friends around her the greater reward you will get later).
2. Why write your own card, when Hallmark has done it for you
NOT. If you truly are illiterate and cannot drag a crayon across a piece of cardboard, then fine, buy a card. If perhaps you believe that someone else could express your exact feelings for your significant other better than you can, fine, but it had better be the card that is a tri-fold with 1,000 characters of text, and glitter.
For me, it means a lot more if a guy puts his own thoughts and feelings into a card. If you simply cannot find the words then yes, get a card, but I hope that there is a lot of time and contemplation put into picking it out. I am talking 45 minutes plus spent up and down the card isle, reading each one until you find the one that is just the right blend of humor, sincerity, truth and passion. Think of yourself like Goldilocks.
3. Chocolate
Note to guys: It is not an acceptable excuse to blame your girlfriend’s diet on why you did not buy her chocolate. She will then be angry, feel fat, not put out, and spend the night questioning why you are with her. You don’t want that do you?
I have mixed feelings on this. I do enjoy chocolate - dark chocolate only, as has more nutritional benefit than milk chocolate. My favorites are the variety boxes since I like to sample half of each one to see if it is worthwhile to eat the entire chocolate. So if you want to share half-eaten chocolates (except my favorites, because I will eat the whole piece) then yes chocolates are a great gift. Something still screams hokey about it, but I like chocolate too much to deny this as being a good gift.
4. Let’s be original and go out to dinner
Because that is not what every other couple is out doing. It does provide the arena for all of the couples to collectively take over restaurants and revel in their sweet, superior couple-dom, judge other couples and take pride in their originality.
Better ideas: Take-out. Plan a romantic evening at home with your favorite meal. Added bonuses: no long car-ride home (both of you get to drink), more intimate environment, no possibility of running into either of your exs and candlelight.
Even better: cook together, wear cute aprons, make a mess, laugh, and enjoy each other’s company.
Additional notes on dining: Indian curries, spicy bean burritos, 5-alarm chili, extra-garlic encrusted cloves of garlic and dairy (for those lactose intolerant fellows of mine) should most likely be avoided if you are hoping to do anything after dinner that does not include his and hers bathrooms.
5. Other
Wine:
Red = romantic, but too much = stained teeth & gums, dangerous to any white/beige/light colored object in the vicinity
White = crisp, fresh and spring-timey *Reisling is my fave
Sangria = let’s try and get in our 5 servings of fruit, get a little sloppy & have a great time
Jewelry:
Note for men: if you decide to get jewelry for your love, abide by the following ground-rules if you want to be together by the end of the night.
Rings: Unless it is either an engagement ring/promise ring or an anniversary ring to add to her already perfect wedding ring, STAY AWAY FROM RINGS. Do not get any other jewelry item, like earrings that come in boxes that look like a ring box. Other note: don’t wear shoes that have shoelaces unless you are planning a really cute, whoops-my-shoelaces-is-untied, now-I-am-going-to-surprise-you-with-a-proposal type of thing.
Other: Necklaces & bracelets are really the only safe form of jewelry to get. Please make sure you know whether she likes gold or silver, what her birthstone is if you choose a jewel and what her interests are if you opt for a charm bracelet.
It can be acceptable to have a ‘typical’ Valentine’s Day IF:
- You are doing it for the shear mockery of the day
- You have run out of original ideas
- You have been together for so long and don’t have much time for anything else
- You have just started dating and don’t know the other person well enough
- You can appreciate the fact that it is a cheesy holiday and understand that to your significant other it is a big deal and meaningful and you care about making her happy
Outline for my perfect Valentine’s Day:
- Card: yes it is always nice to get something in your own words, but if you can’t get it down onto paper it is ok to get one (see point on card selection above)
- Gift: money spent is not as important on the thought/care behind it. A stuffed animal is just as special as a bracelet and I don’t even wear that much jewelry now anyway. Or get creative, as long as it is something that you think that I will like then I probably will, for under $5 you can print a picture of us and pop it in a frame, Ali = happy.
- Activities: Take-out (Chinese or Thai or Sushi..ok anything really I have never been picky, even my favorite Subway sandwich will be perfect), a picnic, a recipe to make together, something we can do at home is more special than going out to eat. Dessert: yes please! Movie: James Bond/Indiana Jones/cheesy zombie or vampire flick/Friday the 13th/bad B movie are all perfect.
- Just show me that you care
Additional Field Notes:
- Girls are planning on wearing some cute onsom later in the night, so if you get too drunk you are going to miss out
- As much as we don’t want to admit it, this day is important to us and we will be disappointed if you don’t take initiative to plan something (it doesn’t have to be huge, just something to show us that you care)
- The more that you can show her how well you know her the better
- As satirical as this post might be, a typical Valentine’s day is way better than no Valentine’s day
